Just Desserts – Lost in Love

by Tom Posted on January 27, 2013

I realize it is probably bad form to come out and express appreciation for an album that I had some personal involvement with, and, well to put it kindly, went sadly unappreciated, but I am going to extend myself out on that embarassing limb.

Just Desserts really was just myself and Larry Fessenden, but at all different junctures we became morphed into something else when surrounded by others. Our latest CD, for me, represented something rare; an expression of our own, internal nostalgia. These were songs (most of them) that we played ages ago, failed to bring to fruition on the canvas, and later in life, tried again. What did occur with age is that we found ourselves surrounded by great musicians, and lord have mercy, a producer/engineer/therapist (Mark Ambrosino) that could take two rusty, but relatively artistic windbags, to a higher place. Look, I might be close to it, but I am not blinded from seeing, hearing realizing the missteps. But something interesting happens when you laud and applaud your own nostalgia – and in a way – give it the dignity and grace it lacked when you were the clueless asses who wrote the songs but couldn’t get them to sound the way you imagined in your head. It’s not redemption so much as an exhumation of a promising but flawed youth. But there is so many who give up on this moment or this stage of life. “Lost in Love” resists that urge and I think tries to turn it on its head. Yes, we were insignificant and low. But we wanted to sound just a little bit more like this…

I would admit there is little to be interested in when listening to the basement tapes of most of our pasts. But in every ordinary (and not so ordinary life) there are moments that deserve regard and appreciation. It doesn’t need to reach certain external or internal benchmarks. When it is good enough, resonates enough, you’ll know. And it will be meaningful, to recreate it, not only to those who lived it, but for those who didn’t live it but can now feel it, unobscured by past out of tune strings and drunken, misguided performances. Suddenly a memory breaks out of it’s box of yellowed newspapers and actually becomes an expression. Perhaps it is an expression out of time, but typically if the band is in time, that seems to matter less.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Our Dismay With What Is

by Tom Posted on September 4, 2012

At a certain point recently, I realized that a dream – or perhaps more precisely – a fantasy had somehow fueled my pursuits or ambitions for years. To slightly rip off Errol Morris, let’s call it “The Fog of Dreams”. It allowed me – gave me the illusion – of somehow living my life just one step from reality. I think to some degree this is a survival tactic. But I have always been suspect of dreams despite, coincidentally, depending on them so much. Holding onto your dreams is not advice I would give or wouldn’t give. I guess instead one should wrestle with our dismay with what is.

I’m convinced in a very unresearched or documented way that we are all, individually sliding a bit more off our axes(?) – accelerated by a growing virtual world, heightened by an almost undetectable blurring of commerce and societal values – corporations and government – entertainment and art – faux meaning and true meaning. Yes, it may be the same as it ever was – but it is also more  – and clearly widespread in ways we probably cannot even fathom.

What I often struggle with – and why I bring up both one’s inadvertent fantasy version of reality and this more global, 21st century quasi-phenomnom – is that the result is the same I think. We disconnect. We lose power but the lights stay on. And just like we will live with the unpredictable and dire  effects of climate change, I believe we will deal with a similar problem as we descend further and farther down this road towards disconnection.

There are many forms and many types of disconnection and I’m not going to lay it all at the feet of the age of the internet or the blurring of commerce and values. Perhaps we have a desire or an intrinsic need to recede from what is real – both in terms of a reality outside the window as well as something that is emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually real.

For one, it requires participation and effort. Connection to the world, to one another does not just happen. Perhaps it used to when conditions were different and our ability to isolate ourselves by having extra rooms, dwellings, large cities or sprawling suburbs, cars, planes and what have you were not available. Now they are and those who can afford them, and even those who cannot afford them, need and want this space, this isolation and privacy, this luxury if you will. Who would want to be freezing digging in the dirt, starving and looking for one last potato to eat? This is perhaps a reality worth trying to escape from or less extreme variations of living in less than ideal conditions.

But nothing is linear – we don’t move from here to there without there being a reaction or repurcussion. Perhaps comfort, shelter, security, convenience is worth the loss of some of the human connection that was forced on us (and that we may have despised or resented). I have no doubt that is true. But we would need to be aware of what we were losing just like we would need to be aware of what we might lose through polluting our environment. In retrospect, convenience and comfort may seem like a short-sighted choice.

But think of the wonder and if you will magic of what is – a group of people playing music and singing together; two lovers completely engulfed with their bodies and their passion; friends or families around tables enjoying their food and each other’s company; a mother or father giving their child a bath. You know that the list is endless.

This is what makes us human and ultimately what makes us happy. Our dismay or our discomfort with what is will always be with us. But what is needs equal regard and concern. We need to dream and aspire, create and advance – but not in a vacuum and not without regard that for every action there is an equal reaction. There’s power in being – importance in being within reality – even when it disappoints, breaks your heart, deals you failure or creates misfortune. It’s important because it is. In the end, despite the grand illusion we have created, it is all you have. I think this realization will never cause us to stop or change course – not entirely. But one’s heart, one’s truth has no opinion or side or vested interest. It just is – inexplicable at times but always oddly beautiful and worth protecting.

 

Posted in Essay/Rant | Leave a comment

When Music Is No Longer Free (at least in theory)

by Tom Posted on May 31, 2012

I’m wondering about what will occur when there is a “correction” of sorts within the world of music. Namely, what will happen when music is no longer free? The surprising thing is how much the digital and internet age has changed our thinking. When I posed the concept of music files being “locked down” to an artist I know, his first reaction was one of concern. How would artists promote their music without giving it away?

Clearly, they’ll be limitations to any future “lock down”. And I don’t foresee the music machine (I prefer this to industry) ever investing in studios or artists again. There is no margin in music. Better off starting a new airline.

But what this correction might do is challenge the so-called “new model” within the muddle of this internet-fueled musical meteor shower. I sort of feel like, yes, everything is different – and no, I’m still not really a convert. It seems like a long walk from a not so benign, paternalistic and elite “label” system all the way to entrepreneurial troubadours. I mean isn’t it pretty well known that troubadours are still trying to tackle issues like personal hygiene and are hardly up to the task of working on a business plan? All jokes aside, I think it’s too long of a walk for most. And these folks may be similar to the folks that would never get past the gates of the palace and find the holy grail – a record deal.

But “making it” isn’t really the point. It is if all you care about is money or some thin facade of recognition. But what is missing is a center – a nucleus. I would argue this nucleus is in fact quite concrete and not really a web 2.0 phenom. It is made up of studios that took years of love and care invested in them to produce quality recordings. It is made up of musicians who’ve played and practiced their craft for a long time and subsequently are both artful and skilled. It is made up of songwriters/composers who have devoted an equal amount of time and energy to creating songs or music that speak to them, and most likely, others.

Look, everyone has the right to create and everyone started out with some lo-fi creation that still sounded beautiful to them. That’s not the point. The point is that our values are fucked up. We’ve become deadened to the realities of soul and real sound. I feel like our judgement is impaired. Only those who have retained their wonder and passion can sift through this massive shit storm and march forward with something to sustain them.

The weird thing is the music machine did have some parts to it that actually did sustain and feed studios, musicians and writers. It might have simply been a side effect of a well oiled money making factory. But if the factory closes, the workers are out of jobs and disperse into the great unknown. So I could hope that when the music is no longer free, there would be an ability to actually support an infrastructure that is necessary to support artists in making great recordings. I would hope it would allow a new type of musical landscape to emerge.

And personally I would love it if there could be less bullshit social media and free downloads and more great music that god forbid, you might want to pay for and just want to hold in your hand before you listen to it. As far as I’m concerned, the new model isn’t new nor is it a model. It’s a faux reality fueled by an illusion of connection. It might even make you feel like you are not really, really lost.

 

 

Posted in Music | Leave a comment